Parenthood: Expectation versus Acceptance

There is more acceptance than expectation when you are a new mom or a mom with grown up toddlers.Motherhood itself is an expectation for women herself and for her well wishers. It is like a magical boon when a baby comes to this new world and how blissful the baby makes the world.But , like a blooming flower, we need so much care and attention to make baby sound good and better. Most mothers are likely to have dilemmas of they have to just look after the baby, or they have to manage the household, eat for the baby, just take rest or try to cover hundred percent of the works .She will often have doubts whether she is running home and baby or households is running her time. Time management is so far the most challenging job for a mother who is specially working outside too. It is even more tough where she is home stay mom.Motherhood is completely a transitional period where everything before will completely change.Her daily routines, her self care beauty routines, job schedules , eat anything, hang out with friends, go for a party with a fancy dress , night stays , come home late or everything that was making her life as beautiful as she can , these will take a hold for some time.Thus, a new mother has numerous acceptance to her changing routines at-least for two or couple of years.

I have tried listing few areas where a mother"s expectations really meets:

• Health of mother herself and the baby

A mother can expect nothing but the sound health of her baby. In some way, baby"s health is directly proportional to mother"s health.She will feel herself fresh and better when baby is doing well .But,when babies cry a lot , don't eat or don't stay calm, it becomes harder for her to run a day or run a night .

• Perfect routine of baby job and work job

However, if the mother is working outside, it solely other family members who will have to take care of baby.But, there will always be a guilt for a mother that she is staying outside for other job rather than not taking care of the baby.This guilt will be felt by every mothers of a new born.Thus, she has to make a perfect routine how she will have to balance these two aspects of her motherhood .

• Good sleep

For at least six months, a new born mom will have to be equally alert on night shifts as well.She has to constantly feed her baby in every two hours even at night. So, it is necessary for her to take a sound nap so that she gets time to be mentally ready for her next shifts .When the baby takes nap , she can manage to take at-least half an hour nap even in the day time. Whether a mom is performing breast feeding or formula milk, she needs to have a proper rest , and take a good food for herself too.

• Laundries are clean and up to date

In Nepali culture, new born are mostly wrapped by swaddles rather than pants. Majority of parents don't prefer diapers for small babies. Thus there is a plenty of laundries to be done since child keeps on doing soo and poops.( Talking about my baby, he had at least twenty swaddles to be cleaned in a day.)Families expect the day to be sunny so that all laundries remain dry and ready for the child instantly.

• Post Delivery pain

Either it is cesarean or normal, women has to go through same pain. Normal deliveries don't last longer, it will take two to three weeks to get back to normal according to parents who had normal deliveries, but if it is a C-Section, it takes at-least one month to completely recover from pain.

• Changes in physical appearance

There are hormonal and physical changes in women"s health and body during Pre-maternity as well as Post-maternity. Some face over weight , some have facial changes leading to spots and dark circles too, some women become under weight too. Mothers should accept these changes as normal ones because becoming a mother is not an easy job.She should also be hopeful that these changes are for a time being, for a year, couple of years or few years.Things will get on track again after some time.

• Frequent visit to hospital

Child"s health cannot be predicted.They looked fine and healthy in the morning but in the day they can go suddenly ill that they might need to be taken to hospitals immediately.Parents should be ready anytime to take them to the medical help.

There are so many challenges in parenting.Thus, we need to be ready anytime .Acceptance fulfills the expectations during parenthood.